The Best Thing You Will Ever Read

Welcome my friend, to the best thing you will ever read.

This story will sell more copies than the Harry Potter series and the Twilight series combined. It will even sell more copies than the Bible. Okay, not that many, but it will be close.

This is the introduction to the best story you will ever read. After reading this introduction, you will never want to stop reading this epic tale. This introduction tells you just how amazing this story is. You are already captivated, and you just can't help yourself from continuing to read this grand journey.

These are the best characters that you have ever heard of. They are extremely well developed. They start off full of questions about themselves and about life, but by the end of this odyssey they will learn so much.

This story has the most amazing action sequences of any tale ever. The journeys are so amazing you'll tell all your friends about it, and then you'll go do them. You'll have so much fun doing them that you'll come back and read this amazing story.

This epic tale also has the best romances between its characters. When you read it, you'll hope for the love between them to work out. You'll feel their passion. You'll feel their pain when their hearts are broken, and you'll feel the joy when they're reunited.

In this story you'll laugh so hard you'll bruise a rib. This story will also make you cry. It will make you hungry, it will make you think. It will make you long for things you once had, and it will make you happy. It will then make you sad, make you bored and then will make you think. It will make you realize things about your life. You'll love this story. You'll hate this story. You'll feel apathetic to this story. Once you've read this story you will never be the same.

This story will have the best plot of all stories. It will put Hamlet and Huckleberry Finn and all of the classics to shame. There will be twists and turns and you will never know what's going to happen next. It will have the most climactic ending of any story.

This book will have the best symbolism and imagery of any tale. It will have more symbolism than Ralph Ellison used in Invisible Man and more imagery than Shakespeare. Its message, which will be life changing, will be subtle as not to detract from the main story, but will be easily recognized.

The conclusion will wrap up all the loose ends, and make everything make so much sense. It will make you want to read it over and over again, and every time you reread it, you'll still be amazed. Simply put, this book will blow your mind.

This book will have the best reviews of any other book. It will be the most criticized by thousands of college students across the globe. Professors will teach this story in their classrooms. It will be in print hundreds of years after it's first publication.

This was the best thing you have ever read. You're welcome.